Change can only come from within (Inside Out)
Inside-out" is an approach that begins by changing one’s inner self (thinking, personality, etc.).
If you want to have a good marriage, first become a “good spouse. If you want your children to grow up to be good children, you must first become a good parent. If you want to be recognized at work, first become a good employee.
Habit #1: “Be proactive.
All events around you can be categorized in a picture drawn by two rings.
The outer circle is called the “circle of interest” and includes everything you are interested in.
The inner circle is called the “Circle of Influence,” which includes everything that you can control.
The “circle of interest” includes “what others say and do,” “what people think of me,” “what the world thinks of me,” “what happened in the past,” “the weather,” and so on.
In the “circle of influence,” there are “my own words and actions,” “my thoughts and attitudes,” and “the future.
Reactive people tend to focus on the “circle of interest,” while proactive people can have positive energy by focusing on the “circle of influence.
In other words.
→ Live proactively = only concern yourself with what you can control.
Second Habit: “Begin by envisioning the end.”
Imagine “your funeral” and think about “the purpose of your life.
→An effective way to envision the end is to establish a “mission statement” that expresses your beliefs and principles, and use it as a guide for your life.
Neither spouse, money, nor things can be the center of your purpose. The center is only the “principle”.
Habit #3: “Put your highest priorities first.”
Focus on “Area II.”
=Focus on less urgent but more important tasks, i.e., tasks that are important in the long term
Reduce “Area IV” (killing time, waiting time, etc.), which is less urgent and less important, to the utmost limit with a will. (The reason is simple: they are not important.)
→ Secure time for “Domain II”.
Habit #6: “Create Synergy
Synergy means synergy
Acknowledge that “difference is value.
→If two people have the same opinion, one of them is superfluous.”
→"Find a third idea.”
Even in situations where there are differences, we can search for what is called in Buddhism the “middle way” (not a compromise, but a higher level choice, like the apex of a triangle).
This is a way of thinking that is also compatible with the dialectical method known as “cessation of contradictions.
Conclusion
- You cannot change people. Concentrate only on what is within your control, and if there are problems, change yourself.
- Be aware of death and plan your life in a retroactive manner.
- → Allocate time to re-priorities that emerge.
- Difference is value. Think dialectically.
Valid points:
- when we have negative feelings.
- when differences arise
- when you have second thoughts about your life.
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